At the 200-person fundraiser, the Labour peer spoke about Get-refusal,
communal responsibility and raising the next generation.

Lord Jon Mendelsohn was honoured as a ‘Champion of Jewish Women’ at Jewish
Women’s Aid’s Illuminate fundraiser on Monday evening. The Labour peer received
the award in recognition of his support for women affected by Get-refusal, his
advocacy in addressing violence against women and girls, as well as his efforts to
ensure that men and boys are part of the solution to domestic abuse.

Around 200 guests – including Victims’ Commissioner Claire Waxman OBE, Baroness
Ruth Deech and Lord Stuart Polak – attended the event at the London Marriott Hotel
Regents Park, which focused on illuminating the realities of domestic abuse and the
experiences of Jewish women and children affected by it.

Sitting in conversation with JWA Trustee and journalist Deborah Joseph, Lord
Mendelsohn reflected on his work in Parliament addressing the refusal of the Get
(Jewish divorce), and the ways in which it can be used as a form of coercive control.
He emphasised the importance of cross-party collaboration in advancing protections
for women, acknowledging fellow peers including Baroness Elizabeth Berridge, Lord
Stuart Polak, Lord Monroe Palmer and Baroness Ros Altmann.

Discussing the issue of Get refusal, the Labour peer said: “It is not inherent that the
Get process itself is abusive, but when there is a refusal to grant a Get you have to be
very careful that it does not move into forms of abuse. The refusal to grant a Jewish
divorce can trap women in isolation and prevent them from moving on with their lives.
In many cases it was used as leverage to alter financial settlements, child access
arrangements or other conditions that had already been established. In the worst
cases women were effectively trapped for decades and at that point you begin to
move into territory that resembles forced marriage.”

Explaining how he, with other peers, encouraged Parliament to recognise Get-abuse
as part of the Domestic Abuse Act, he said: “The Domestic Abuse Act allowed the
circumstances around a Jewish divorce to be recognised within statutory guidance
so that courts could understand them in the context of coercive control and domestic
abuse. That made it easier for courts to intervene.” He added: “But our job is not
finished. We have not yet fully protected the position of women. One of the things we
are continuing to pursue is the separation of the Get process from attempts to gain
leverage over financial settlements or child access.”

Lord Mendelsohn, the former Chairman of Finchley United Synagogue, also spoke
about the need for strong leadership within the community in confronting domestic
abuse. He said: “When I began speaking about this issue publicly I was shocked by
the number of people I knew personally who came forward to share their stories.
These were people from my own synagogue community who had never mentioned
their experiences before and the levels of suffering people had experienced were
deeply disturbing.”

Reflecting on the importance of raising the next generation with values of respect
and equality, Lord Mendelsohn, who has three sons and one daughter, added: “We
need to raise a generation of young people who understand equality and respect.
The world has changed significantly over recent decades and that transformation
needs to be properly recognised. Parents and communities have a responsibility to
raise resilient young people who respect others and fulfil their aspirations.”

At the event, guests heard stories of Jewish women supported by JWA, including
Rachel*, a doctor whose husband controlled the household finances, forced her to
ask permission to spend money and repeatedly sexually assaulted her; and Emma*,
a highly educated mother of three whose husband stopped her working, isolated her
from family and friends and used the courts to continue exerting control even after
she left the relationship, including refusing to grant her a Get.

Sam Clifford, Chief Executive of Jewish Women’s Aid, spoke about the growing
demand for specialist support for Jewish women experiencing abuse. Speaking at
the event, she said: “At JWA we support women who have been sexually assaulted,
women who lie awake at night terrified of what might happen if they fall asleep,
mothers who worry about the safety of their children when they are forced to send
them for contact with an abusive father and women who are not safe in their own
homes. For many of them JWA is the only place they feel safe enough to turn.”
She added: “Demand for our services continues to grow. Every single week 15
Jewish women reach out to JWA for help. Real change will only happen when our
whole community refuses to tolerate abuse, control and fear.”

Joanne Black, who has sat as Chair of Jewish Women’s Aid for more than a
year, said: “Abuse takes many forms. What has shocked me most has been the
scale and the complexity of the issues, the many different forms coercive control can
take, the psychological manipulation, the financial abuse, the isolation, the quiet
erosion of confidence and independence that can happen behind perfectly
respectable front doors. Domestic abuse is not only a woman’s issue. It affects
families, communities and society as a whole. It affects children, it affects
workplaces, it affects our collective future.” Speaking about Lord Mendelsohn, she
added: “That is why partnership matters. That is why community matters, and that is
why I am so proud that my dear friend, Lord Jon Mendelsohn, is being honoured here
tonight for his steadfast support and leadership. As a Jewish community we know we
have a responsibility to protect our own. Specialist culturally competent services are
not a luxury, they are essential, they save lives.”

In a video message played at the event, former Facebook boss Sheryl Sandberg
hailed the charity’s work, saying: “Jewish Women’s Aid does extraordinary work every
day. You are leading the effort to help end domestic abuse and sexual violence in the
Jewish community in the UK, and for survivors whose sense of safety has been
shattered, you are there with life saving support when they need it most.”

As the executive producer of Screams Before Silence, a documentary on the sexual
violence committed by Hamas terrorists on October 7, she thanked Lord Mendelsohn
for facilitating a screening of the film at Parliament. She said: “I am thrilled he is being
honoured today for his leadership in confronting domestic violence and for his deep
commitment to making sure violence against women is never ignored.”

Throughout, JWA emphasised the “Illuminate so that we can Empower, Educate, End
Abuse” theme, highlighting that abuse exists behind closed doors, hidden by silence
and stigma. Funds raised from the event will go towards JWA’s £1.6m annual budget.