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  • your-safety
  1. How we help
  2. Your safety

Your safety

Our Domestic Abuse Service workers can help you to stay as safe as possible, but here are some things to think about.

REMEMBER: IN AN EMERGENCY ALWAYS CALL 999
(For information on silent calls to the police, click here)

Your safety if you are planning to leave

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However long you have been dealing with the abuse at home, there may come a time when you decide that it’s time to leave.

Sometimes perpetrators will become more abusive if they know that you are considering leaving, so bear in mind that this may be a dangerous time for you. Contact us before you leave, so that our Domestic Abuse Service can help you leave in the safest way possible. When you leave, make sure that you:

  • Take important documents (see below)
  • Take a few different forms of ID for yourself and your children.
  • Remember this is a very dangerous time - leave when you know the perpetrator is not around.
  • Take your children with you, and try to bring their favourite toy if possible.

If you are planning to leave, try to take as many of these as possible:

  • Money/credit cards
  • Phone & phone charger (BUT make sure any tracking apps are turned off - for more information or guidance speak to our Domestic Abuse team)
  • Family passports
  • Visas
  • Birth certificates
  • Marriage certificates
  • Change of clothes
  • House/car keys
  • Medication
  • Medical records
  • Driving licence
  • Cheque books
  • Benefits statement, or anything with your NI number on it
  • Utility bills, with name and address
  • Any documents related to your home (tenancy agreements, council or mortgage letters)
  • Children's toys
  • Photos and anything of sentimental value

“Your support has kept me sane and helped me to keep myself and my children safe.”

Published: 3rd May, 2019

Updated: 1st August, 2019

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Your safety after you have left

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Unfortunately, the abuse may not end when you leave the perpetrator, so it is important to continue to keep yourself and any children safe. Our Domestic Abuse Service will help you keep yourself as safe as possible, but here are some suggestions:

  • Try to avoid places you know that the perpetrator goes to.
  • Alter your routine as much as possible.
  • Change your route to work, and your children's route to school.
  • Change your mobile phone and/or phone number. Do not give your new number to the perpetrator, or anyone you do not trust. Turn off any apps that could track your location (your client support worker will advise you on this).
  • Stop using any bank cards or credit cards which are shared.
  • Make sure your address doesn't show on court papers, if it is not safe for the perpetrator to know where you live.
  • Apply to join the electoral register anonymously.

If children are involved:

Tell the school what has happened. Give them copies of any court orders and make sure they know who will be collecting the children from school each day.

If it is not safe for the perpetrator to know where you live, ensure children don't give the perpetrator the address.

Ask our Domestic Abuse Service about our children's therapy, to support your children.

If you are staying in the family home after separation:

Our Domestic Abuse Servicve will help you with all of these issues, but these are things you will need to be considering:

  • Consider getting occupation/non-molestation orders, and keep all paperwork safe.
  • Improve the security of your home via a local Sanctuary Project.
  • Keep all windows and doors locked.
  • Install an outside light.
  • Change your home telephone number.
  • Screen your incoming phone calls, and use answerphones where possible.

"Going to court that day was the scariest thing I ever did in my whole life but my support worker helped me through it. JWA put me and my children in a hotel for a few nights and brought us kosher food, and toys for my children, and called me every day. When my children and I returned home JWA arranged for a company to come and put alarms on all of our windows and give us a new (and very secure) front door - all free of charge."

Published: 2nd May, 2019

Updated: 1st August, 2019

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Coronavirus update: Your safety and recognising high risk behaviour

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Abusive behaviour can range from unpleasant to extremely dangerous, and it is not always easy to recognise - especially when you are still in the relationship.

Self and household isolation due to coronavirus could create additional high risk abusive behaviours in addition to those listed in the table below:

- Not letting you call family and friends
- Blaming the lockdown/isolation on you
- Abuser increasing how much they drink/drug abuse
- Restricting what you can eat and your access to hygiene products
- Abuser threatening suicide

HIGH RISK BEHAVIOURS HIGH RISK SITUATIONS
Stalking or harassment, including online or through social media Pregnancy
Threats to kill Recently separated or planning to separate
Attempted strangulation or suffocation Housing and/or financial issues and/or immigration issues
Physical injury Breach of occupation/non-molestation orders

If any of these are factors in the abuse that you or someone you know is experiencing, call our Domestic Abuse Service as soon as possible on 020 8445 8060.

Please call 999 if you or your children are in immediate danger.

Published: 1st May, 2019

Updated: 19th March, 2020

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Coronavirus update: Your safety if you are living with the abuser

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If you are living with the abuser, especially if you are self or household isolating, there are a number of important things you can be doing to help keep yourself safer. 

Please remember to call 999 if you are in immediate danger.

This is not an exhaustive list, and can depend on the individual situation. But thinking about your safety plan and what you could do in an emergency can help to ensure that you (and any children) are as safe as possible while you are still living in an abusive relationship. These suggestions won’t stop the abuse, but you can try to keep yourself and your children as safe as possible.

In a self-isolation/lockdown scenario, family, community and contact with religious leaders will likely become even more important to you. JWA can arrange for you to speak to a religious leader if you want to.

We strongly advise you to contact our specialist Domestic Abuse Service who can support you to keep safe.

  • Keep important and emergency numbers with you or saved as phone contacts (eg JWA, your GP, your children's school).
  • Keep your phone charged and with you all the time (wear clothes with pockets).
  • Teach your children to dial 999 in an emergency.
  • Make sure children know their address, or a safe place to run if there is an incident.
  • If you can trust neighbours or friends nearby, tell them what is going on and ask them to call the police if they hear anything suspicious. You could agree a code word or signal to alert them to call the police.
  • Rehearse your escape route from each room in the house.
  • Avoid being alone with the perpetrator in rooms that could be difficult to escape from. Where this is unavoidable, try to go to another room when an argument starts or if you feel scared.
  • Try to avoid being alone with the perpetrator in rooms that have things that could be used as weapons (eg kitchen, bathroom or shed, which may have knives).
  • Document the abuse if you feel it is safe to do so - keep a diary of incidents if you can.
  • Speak to your doctor or report incidents to the police as this can be used as evidence later if you need it.
  • Be prepared to leave in an emergency.
  • Pack an emergency bag, including important documents/car keys/phone charger, and leave it in a safe place (with friends or neighbours).
  • Try to set aside a small amount of money, perhaps in a separate bank account, if it is safe to do so.

It is a stressful and daunting time, but our Domestic Abuse Service can help guide you through it, and will support you.

“Had I not contacted JWA things would have been very bad.  Things would be hell – I could have been killed.  The reason why I moved on was because JWA supported me to do that.  They have helped to build my confidence and enable me to cope with things to make a change in my life.”

Published: 30th April, 2019

Updated: 19th March, 2020

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Your safety from cyber & tech abuse

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Tech abuse is also sometimes called cyber abuse, and includes digitally-enabled stalking.

In the context of domestic abuse, it means the use of technology to control, threaten or frighten the partner. It is very important to keep as safe as possible from this type of abuse.

As technology develops at a huge pace, abusive partners find more and more ingenious ways of using technology to gain power and control by tracking, stalking, harassing and frightening. 

  • It might be constant texts, asking where you are or what you're doing or when you're coming home.
  • It might be hacking your "WhatsApp" account, to stalk you, or using other digital tools - also known as "digitally enabled stalking".
  • It might be using "find my friends" or similar apps to find out where you are.
  • It might be using hidden cameras, doorbell technology, hidden recorders, or tracking devices in your car. It might be using "smart" home technology, to change settings in the home (eg change the temperature of central heating, or switch machines on or off...).
  • It might be sharing intimate images, without your consent, or abusive behaviour sometimes called "revenge porn".

If you are concerned this may be happening to you, call us to speak to us about it.

Feeling concerned?

Here are some basic practical tips

Published: 29th April, 2019

Updated: 30th July, 2019

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Your safety after experiencing sexual violence

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If you feel you are in immediate danger please call 999.

If you have just been raped you have choices, you can call the Police or the Sexual Assault Referral Centre, you can call a friend or supportive person or a helpline (see below for details).

You can also do nothing, if that is what feels right for you right now.

It can help to get to a place that feels safe, and to call a friend or supportive person.

If you do want to call the Police, it is best to remember not to wash or have a shower and to carefully remove your clothes and put them in a plastic bag as this can be used for evidence.



Calling a SARC (Sexual Assault Referral Centre)

If you are in London, you can call The Havens 24/7 on 020 3299 6900.

You can also call the London Survivors Gateway on 0808 801 0860 for information.



Get support from the Dina Service

The Dina Service Support Line number is 0808 801 0656

and is open Monday, Tuesday & Thursday at the following times:

Mondays 10am - 12noon; 1pm - 3pm

Tuesdays 1pm - 3pm

Thursdays 10am - 12noon; 1pm - 3pm

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. JWA's DINA SERVICEDINA SERVICE IS HERE FOR YOU.



Calling another helpline

You can call the National Rape Crisis Violence Helpline 0808 802 9999 open daily 12.00-2.30pm & 7.00-9.30pm.

You can also call the London Survivors Gateway on 0808 801 0860 for information and support and face-to-face services in your area of London

Published: 28th April, 2019

Updated: 1st August, 2019

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Domestic Abuse Helpline

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Published: 7th November, 2018

Updated: 4th December, 2018

Author: Lee Wax

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Jewish Women's Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England and Wales under No. 3024499 and registered as a Charity No. 1047045

Registered office PO Box 65550, London N3 9EG

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